Don't: French Manicures & Pedicures

There's something about September that always makes me feel like we're starting new and starting fresh. I guess my brain never got off the school calendar. So September is time to get your new outfits and start a new image.



And there's no better way to start off the "new year" without a list of dos and don'ts, EWP style.



Today is my biggest biggest hated make me cry pet peeve. French manicures and pedicures.



Nothing says "trashy" to me like a french mani/pedi. French manis are bad enough, but a french pedi? ACK! Why anyone would want to accentuate the length of their toenails is just beyond me.



Say it with me: Just say no to french mani/pedis. Just say oui to regular mani/pedis.

Confessions of an EWP

I know I've been MIA lately. I'm sorry, but I must confess I've been rather busy and neglected this lil bloggie. And as long as I'm confessing to that, thought I'd confess some other things:

• I haven't had a manicure in 2 months. Don't worry, my pedicure is very up to date. Wearing sandals in the summer without a pedicure is a major fashion violation, I wouldn't dare do that. But can't seem to get time to run out and get my nails done. I'm so ashamed.


• I don't own a full-length mirror. I KNOW! This shocks people on a regular basis. This is why you get all those silly bathroom shots. There is no full-length mirror in our place. This means I never actually know what an outfit looks like on me really. I guess in my head, but never see the finished product. Who knows if the shoes actually go! Who knows if the shoe/skirt combo makes my legs look thick! This is something I hope to remedy when we move to our new place next month. Then you can get full-length photos. I know you've been dying without them :)


• I have a wicked ring tan going. It looks ridiculous. Guess I won't be slipping my ring off when I hit the bars ;) Not that I actually go to bars. So I won't slip it off when I hit Nordstrom. With the baby. During the day. You know, since that's where people go to pick up guys, right? Not that I ever would take my rings off to go shopping. Aside from not being that kind of gal, they totally get me better service. Seriously, salespeople in nice stores definitely do a once over when you walk in, and my ring apparently makes the cut to get nice service. Phew!


• I dress up to go shopping. The better dressed you are, the better service you get. Especially if you throw on some designer duds. See above.


• I'm obsessed with peanut butter. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but I just needed to get that off my chest. If I could have it at every meal, my life would be perfect. We go through A LOT of peanut butter in our house. And as much as I like to pretend Mr. EWP is eating some of it, it's really just me.


• I make Mr. EWP put his clothes in the guest room closet. The master bedroom gigantic closet is all for me. Well, we do have some linens in there. See, I can share!

Got anything you need to get off your chest? Confess in the comments!

I Heart Fashion Nails on Michigan Ave.

I'm a creature of habit. Once I find a nail salon I like, I just keep going there. But last month I was out shopping on Michigan Ave. with Laura and we wanted a mani/pedi. So we hopped into some place that was open on a Sunday. We'd never been but, hey, a nail place is a nail place.

What we didn't know is that when this nail place said "spa manicure/pedicure" they meant "we give you an amazing massage you will never forget." Like serious deep tissue massaging of your feet, calves, hands, arms, shoulders, and neck. I love a deep tissue massage. And this massage, just the massage part, takes at least an hour. It was heavenly. And all for the low price of $55.

Clearly I will only be going there. Why not get my tired ol' dogs (my feet ache like crazy these days) deeply massaged in addition to nicely painted? And the nice lady Lin (who I totally recommend) has started giving me discounts because I'm cute and pregnant.

So, for those of you in Chicago, I totally recommend Fashion Nails located at 210 N. Michigan Ave. for your next mani/pedi.

Oh and I also recommend this color for your next pedi: Essie's Damsel in a Dress. It's actually a super dark purple, almost black, and I can't stop staring at it. My toes are hawt, I'm telling ya. I'll have to buy it for myself. I'm that in love with it.

Essie, $8

Confessions of an EWP

It's been a while since my last confessions, and I have more to get off my chest:

1. I haven't worn makeup in a week. I know there are a bunch of you who don't wear makeup everyday (and we seriously need to have a talk about that), but I do. So a week is a long time. I fear I've turned into one of those gross preggos. But in my defense I've been really sick this past week and didn't leave the house. The only person I've seen is my husband. Who I guess I should still put makeup on for, but when I confessed it'd been a week since my last mascaraing Mr. EWP said "what? You're not wearing makeup? I can't tell." Oh sweet sweet Mr. EWP. I don't want to know if it was a lie or the truth. But before you think he's too sweet he did follow it up with "I used to be able to tell because of your circles, but you don't have those anymore." hahahahah, well, at least my unemployment has helped with catching up on my beauty rest.
2. I'm headed to Michigan today via train (the hubs will be coming on Friday after work) for my little sister's big engagement party weekend. She has very nicely asked if I would do her makeup for the big event because I do it so much better than the professionals she's used. Flattery will get you everywhere. And because I'm crazy, I can't take a few colors, no, I worry that I'll be leaving something necessary behind. So I'm taking my entire makeup case with me. On the train. In addition to my giant bag of clothing, because you never know what I might want to wear this week. I'll look like a crazy bag lady. Thank God Amtrak doesn't have baggage restrictions. And while I've already made confession #1 to you all, maybe we shouldn't tell my sister I haven't put any makeup on in a week.....
3. I need new gold shoes. Badly. Please someone find some for me. All suggestions welcome in the comments or email me at esquirewearsprada@gmail.com
4. We are drowning in clothes. Not laundry. But clothes I've pulled out of my closet to donate. Someone please come to my house and take them to Goodwill (or your own closet, I don't care) for me.
5. Pregnancy has made me go gray. There are a MILLION grays on my head that weren't there before I got pregnant. The situation is getting out of control. I'd pluck them all except I have a fear of going bald.
6. I fear I'm going bald.
7. I have really short legs. Like seriously disproportionately short legs. I finally admitted this to myself a couple weeks ago and bought my latest pair of Joe's Jeans in a petite.... and I still need to have them hemmed. I really hope BabyWP doesn't get my midget legs.
8. I'm addicted to massages. Like seriously addicted. I may need to go into counseling for it.
9. When I get my toes painted a hot color, I stare at them all day.
10. I can't sleep without my husband. Like not at all. Is that weird? I already have weird preggo insomnia, but couple that with being Mr. EWP-free for the next two nights, and I'm in a bit of a panic. Maybe my little sister will cuddle with me....

How about you? Got anything to confess?

EWP's Least Favorite Things

Since I spent the last few posts telling you what my very favorite things are, I thought I'd do a post on the things that I really really dislike (my mama's always telling not to use the word hate, so let's go with dislike).

In no particular order.

1) Rubberband bracelets. There is absolutely nothing stylish or grownup about wearing theses.



2) Shirts with hoods on them. A sales associate tried to convince me to buy one the other day and, instead of laughing in his face, I chose to ask him whether he thought I was 12. No? Do I look like a grownup professional woman? Yes? Okay, then please burn all the hoods. Thanks.

3) French pedicures. OMG, there aren't enough angry words in the world to express my complete disgust for french pedicures. They are in a word - trashy. Just think about it - why would you ever ever want to draw attention to or emphasize how long your toenails are? Never? Okay, then let's all ban french pedicures.

4) While we're on the subject, let's give french manicures the boot too. Dear all future brides out there, you do not, I repeat DO NOT have to get a french manicure for your wedding. You will look really gross. You're welcome. xoxo, EWP

5) Rubber flip flops. I think I've already said all I need to say about these things. So let's just leave it at that.

6) Jean skirts. I just really really really from the bottom of my heart do not like these things. I've never seen a woman in a jean skirt and thought "oh, doesn't she look nice." I have, however, thought "oh dear, she looks like one of those Duggars."

7) Chunky heels. While we're banning things around here, how about we add chunky heels to the list. They do nothing for a woman's look. Completely unflattering and unfeminine. You'll look just as chunky and drab as the heel you're wearing in one of these.

8) Cargo pants. The same sales associate who tried to sell me the hooded shirt, then proceeded to try to sell me a pair of cargo pants. If looks could kill, he would have burst into flames at the moment he brought them to my dressing room. I do NOT do cargo pants. And neither should you.

9) Gym shoes when you're not at the gym. I had a picture for this but somehow deleted it. Apparently blogger hates them so much it won't even allow me to post a picture of them. Just don't do it, okay? Good.